MORE OF A MAN THAN ANY OF THEM

I’d like this experiment to investigate and reflect on MAN from my perspective as a cisgender female, and the implications of having different characteristics gendered in different etymological frameworks, along with the power dynamics of gendered language and other interactions across all genders. For example, examining characteristics such as being strong-willed, outspoken or ‘tough’, and how these can be perceived as positive or negative characteristics depending on language and gender context: strong-willed vs bossy, outspoken vs opinionated, emotional vs hysterical. The experiment will reflect on several incidences over my own experience, starting with being referred to as a tomboy through to being referred to as bossy, loud or opinionated (especially in an online context) as a grown woman.

I’m going to explore these experiences and look at performing masculinity by inserting myself into the film selected, Apocalypse Now Redux (1979/2001). I’ve performed one of Lieutenant General Corman’s monologues in Willard’s initial briefing, featured in my selected 21 seconds of film (see the Results page in the Random Data Generator menu, I’ve added a few seconds on either side to get the complete monologue) on a green screen and have overlaid my performance over the actual footage.

As I’ve never used any editing software before, I want to embrace the unrefined aesthetic that will be bought about by my lack of technical ability, not hide it. Another thing that I quite like is my awkwardness in front of the camera: I like how cringe-inducing it is. I want to capture the jarring quality of the untrained editing, and the ‘home movie’ aesthetic that it brings, to underline my concept. The experiment explores a few things: most superficially, it is a direct reference to mansplaining (as I am literally going to be ‘speaking over’ a man and his expertise), and on a deeper level it speaks to power dynamics within interactions between men and women/NB/X. I think it would also extend the critique of male/masculine militarism noted in the film by subverting the long-held perception that women don’t belong in the military, or any proximity to violence. I also like that it speaks directly to notions of power, as I’m erasing not only the man, but literally his entire person and agency.

I’m satisfied with this as an experiment, but I think it would take a lot more learning for me to consider making fully realised works in this medium.

Credit to my partner for filming and teaching (and not laughing).